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“НАШЕ ЖИТТЯ”, СІЧЕНЬ 2010 23 natural and subconscious Secondary Reaction occurs: Each of the ladies present now finds it necessary to raise her voice in order to make certain she is being heard. Thus, our example now shifts to Lesia whose switch, because of age, was set not exactly to OFF but more than likely to NAPPING. Upon hearing the word “mistake,” however, Lesia’s Ear automatically switches to ON an d she commences to make a charitable and tactful comment of her own: “Yes, it is a mistake not to appreciate the work that our friends do and an even bigger mistake to ignore their contributions to our organization. We should not be arguing like this; we should be grateful to each other and appreciate each other.” This statement is followed by a moment of silence. Then President Dosia closes the meeting before anyone else can say another word. The ladies begin to leave the meeting room, in a long line of pairs or threes, and the crescendo of the meeting has given way to murmurando. “Now what did I say that was so bad?” “We had the best of intentions. You know how much work it is to prepare all these pastries.” “I don’t know what we are going to do now — g et a caterer? But we don’t have the money.” “It’s not a question of money. It’s their feelings.” “I offered the money. They didn’t want it.” “We really have to settle this matter at next month’s meeting” “Is there a meeting next month? Why didn’t anyone tell me?” The Test of Three : A Fable a bout Sharing Bad Tidings The Greek philosopher Socrates (469 – 399 BC) was approached by a student who excitedly announced that he had heard something that his teacher s houl d know at once — an unflattering comment that had been made about Socrates by another person. Socrates replied. "Before you tell me what you are so eager to tell me, let’s take a moment to see whether it is worth telling.” The student was momentarily puzzle d but then remembered that many of the lessons Socrates had taught him had come in the form of questions. He stopped himself from blurting out the his news and began to listen. “The first test,” Socrates said, “ is truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?" “Why no,” replied the student. “I just heard this an hour ago and ran to find you and tell you.” “So,” said Socrates, “you don't really know if what you heard is true or not. Well then, is what you are about to tel l me something good” "No, on the contrary," answered the student “It is . . .” "So," Socrates interrupted, "you want to tell me something bad even though you are not certain that it is true?” The student, now a little embarrassed, but still convinced tha t Socrates should know what he had heard, opened his mouth to speak. Socrates held up his hand, stopping the words that were about to pour out. “Wait. There is a third test that you must pass before telling me what you are so determined to tell. Is what yo u want to tell me going to be useful to me?" "Well, no, not really, but . . . " Socrates again stop ped the flow of words and said, "If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor Useful, why tell it to me at all?" The student lowered his he ad, ashamed but a little wiser, and perhaps even a little kinder. And one would like to think that from that day onward, before sharing bad tidings, he paused to ask himself: Is it true? Is it good? Is it useful?
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