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22 “НАШЕ ЖИТТЯ”, СІЧЕНЬ 2010 The Art of Listening by DMZ Listen. v. t o hear somet hing with thoughtful attention. – Merriam - Webster Dictionary . In good communication, it is very important to hear what someone else is saying rather than getting into the “art of things” and missing out on the true and intended message. Listening (rather than just hearing) begins with the ear and under - standing how it functions. To begin with, humans have two ears. One is an anatomical ear and one is a social ear. I’ll let the doctors dissect the anatomical ear; I’ll hav e fun exploring the social ear. The Ear. The ear in its social sense consists of two channels and the necessary switches to service them. One channel is a Personal Baggage Channel (PBC), and the other c hannel is the Open Mind Channel (OMC). Each channel has its respective switch and the individual listener controls both switches at will. An example of how this social hearing system works can be drawn from a familiar social situation — a Woman’s Club Meeti ng (WCM). Lest readers suspect that I not being politically correct, I’ll explain here that any meeting will do just as well. I’m using WCM just because I’m more knowledgeable about WCMs than about other groups and this makes it more comfortable for me to create an accurate example. The Example. A WCM is in progress. Dosia, the president of the group, is reporting on “things” and says, “Chapter A has graciously promised to provide all the pastries for the Regi onal Annual Luncheon Meeting.” Down at the en d of the long conference table sits club member Basia. Her anatomical ear is turned to Madam President Dosia , but the social ear channel is set to PBC. There is no particular reason for this — maybe just habit — but it just so happens that Basia’s PBC is progr ammed with the following data: her grandmother, mother, aunt, and sister have all let her know that she does not excel in the art of baking. As the communication from the floor on the subject of pastries begins, it enters Basia’s PBC ear channel, promptin g an immediate and subconscious reaction. Her mouth opens and she exclaims, “I am not baking. I’ve had enough baking. So don’t even ask me!” Her outburst starts a chain reaction of considerable proportion. Chain Reaction . Hearing Basia’s words, Masia (wh o has similar PBC data stored in her E ar ) pipes up, “I have no time to bake. I’d rather give money.” By now, Madam President Dosia has begun to notice that her remarks have been misunderstood by Basia and Masia and begins trying to clarify her previous s tatements: “Ladies,” she says, “you don’t have to bake , and we don’t need your money.” This comment is heard by all, including Annia, president of Chapter A, who has her Ear switched to Open Mind Channel (OMC), a channel that is wide and roomy and which al lows information flowing into the ear to be analyzed by the brain, which sorts and processes the sounds Annia has heard. During the sorting, however, Annia’s brain has added a couple of words to Dosia’s statement, and Annia’s OMC is now processing “Ladies, you don’t have to ba k e and we don’t need your help or money.” Pained by this comment, Annia responds with quiet dignity, “Well, if that’s the case, then we will certainly be happy to withdraw our offer.” As luck would have it, the Council’s Recording Secretary is Zosia, who has a talent for her job and whose Ear is padlocked in the OMC position. Immediately aware of the confusion and of her friend Annia’s sad conclusion, she jumps into the discussion: “Oh no, Anni a ! Dosia did not mean you. She was referring to Basia.” Basia, impatient by nature and now feeling offended, instantly retorts: “I said I’d give money.” The sound of the word “money” reaches the Ear of Nusia, the Council’s Treasurer. While her Ear is always switched to the OMC, her great dedication to her post and her professional diligence (she is a certified public accountant) causes her to immedia - tely clarify her own position in this discussion before anyone misunderstands what that is. “Please , Basia. I can collect money only before or after the meeting or I’ll make mistakes.” As one interruption topples the one before, a Видання C оюзу Українок A мерики - перевидано в електронному форматі в 2012 році . A рхів C У A - Ню Йорк , Н . Й . C Ш A.
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