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“НАШЕ ЖИТТЯ”, ВЕРЕСЕНЬ 2010 17 INTIMACY by Ihor Magun, M.D., F.A.C.P. I was hoping to write a column provid ing information on the female version of the Viagra pill , but the FDA has found some serious side effects that may lead to it being shelved indefinitely. This, however, does not prevent a discussion on a very common problem presented t o physician s: HSDD or Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder. This is a condition characterized by an absence or deficiency of sexual fantasies and /or desire for sexual activity , which can cause significant distress or interpersonal difficult ies and which canno t be attributed to any other medical, psychiatric, substance - related , or other sexual condition. Open discussions about s ex were brought to the forefront in the 1970s by Masters and Johnson. Since that time, t he issues of hypoactive sexual desire disorder ha ve been the subject of many debates on all levels , including a debate on whether the condition is a disorder at all or merely a side effect of other disorders. Women tend to exhibit symptoms of this disorder during the time of l ife when they should be co mfortable with intimate relations. Unfortunately many women get so overwhelmed with day - to - day life and the cumulative stress of dealing with too many things on too many levels — from home to children to work to aging parents to econom ic concerns — that sexual intimacy is the last thing they have time or energy to think about. Circumstances limit time for intima cy , and sexual fantasy is buried by thoughts of pressing problems and issues that need to be addressed and resolved. Adding to the stress of having too much to deal with is the fact that s ociety has placed so much emphasis on appearance , something that makes too many women self - conscious about their own perceived inadequacies. What is too easy for women in such circumstances to forget is that a ll women are beautiful in many different ways. Remembering this point can help. So can doing something to enhance what is already beautiful within you. If a woman does something that makes her feel beautiful, she projects a positive aura. Moreover, studies have shown that women who are more positive about their appearance are more easily aroused. Improving appearance (and attitude about appearance) doesn’t mean spending a fortune on cosmetic surgery. It can be as simple as getting a manicure or pedicure, ch ang ing hair color or hair style, or buying some sexy lingerie. Change the familiar and you can open new opportunities for enjoyment. Age is sometimes blamed for HSDD, even in cases when it shouldn’t be. Menopause has its own issues, but it also eliminates the monthly interruptions to sexual activity and concerns about pregnancy. In a way, menopause frees women from previous concerns and permits more spontaneity. N ew lubricating products ensure comfort; they are available in consumer - friendly wrapping in all pharmacies as well as on line. Communication with your partner is important, especially because men are very different from women. Men can transition from any situation into intimacy. Women can ’ t just turn on their sex drive like a switch. They need a tr ansition period. If your partner has a difficult time understanding or creating this transition period, show him how. Draw a bath, set up a romantic situation — you know what works for you. Encourag ing (or rekindling) a longing for each other can enrich all your feelings. Relive certain moments during your dating years. Remember that emotional intimacy makes for better sex and good sex helps create better intimacy . S ex is not only a part of life, but a wonderful aspect of life. It is good for you physically and emotionally . Intimacy should never be uncomfortable ; it should never be used as a weapon during arguments (either in the sense of demanded intimacy or denied intimacy). Couples who love and respect one another understand that intimacy is about somethin g else — a mutual act of love, of giving. Tomorrow – One of the greatest labor saving devices of today. Wrinkles – Something other people have, similar to my character lines.
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