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“НАШЕ ЖИТТЯ”, ЛИПЕНЬ - СЕРПЕНЬ 201 3 WWW. UNWLA.ORG 23 I sat down, you seated yourself at some distance from me, or stood beside me — whichever you thought was m ore convenient — and we engaged in conversation. We interacted very naturally, without that banal, artificial politeness that tends to characte r- ise relationships between men and women — and which I find so odious. It did not even occur to you that it might be impolite when, instead of conversing with me, you paced the length of the deck with your hands behind your back. I unde r- stood that you were sunk deep in thought or, pe r- haps, preoccupied with some worry, and I did not intrude upon you then. From time to t ime, and always unexpec t- edly, you stopped beside me with a question or an observation, and we would immediately begin talking again. I remember those conversations very well, but I do not want to recreate them here; it is boring to repeat what has already been sta t- ed — to me it would seem like dictation. Yes, I remember our last long convers a- tion when I stood leaning against the ship's rai l- ing, looking down at the dark, chaotic sea and talking about something that seemed as dark and chaotic to me as that sea . We were discussing a challenging concept: “predetermination — the f a- tality of life...” You spoke seriously the whole time, and not even once did I detect so much as the slightest hint that you might be making fun of me. You also did not resort to any jocular comments, as so o f- ten happens when one is enjoying a cup of tea in the company of friends. It was more like academic discourse. You discussed the matter calmly, but I was conscious that my eyes were blazing and my face was flaming. I bent down so low over the side of the ship that salty droplets of water struck my face; the fresh nocturnal breeze blew at my su m- mer dress, and I started to tremble. You noticed this immediately, and I once again saw in your eyes your kind concern; you instantly halte d the conversation, but so swiftly, so straightforwardly. You simply said: “You're tired, cold, and it would be better if I took you to your cabin. Give me your arm and, for God's sake, hold on tightly.” There, down below, on the threshold of my cabin, yo u extended your hand in farewell. I wanted to say to you then: “Thank you, my friend!” But I managed to utter only the “thank you,” and that was all. You raced up the stairs swiftly and ni m- bly — and vanished into the darkness. We never again spoke to each other. The next morning, I saw you one more time, as you were standing in the most distant corner of the ship. You, however, did not see me, and no new encounter took place. When we arrived in the harbour where you were to disembark, I wanted to find yo u to say a word of farewell, but you were lost in the crowds, and I could not spot you. Since then, we have not seen each other and, I think, we never will see each other again. Perhaps it is better this way. On another occasion we could be in a very di fferent mood, and our second encounter could simply serve to spoil the good impression created by the first one. Perhaps, on the evening that you conversed with me, you were in a special mood — a mood that rarely overcomes you. And I, in a s e- cond encounter, could also seem completely di f- ferent, boring, and hardly worthy of your atte n- tion. Then we would have regretted that chance had brought us together again. So, let it be the way it is; at least, this is what I am assuming theoretically. But still, wheneve r I recall you and see your figure in the distant perspective, I have an overwhelming desire to say to you: “Thank you, my friend!” And I truly regret that you are not able to hear me say it. Engl ish translation by Roma Franko; edited by Sonia Morris ( From Heart to Heart: Selected Prose Fiction by Hrytsko Hryhorenko and Lesya Ukrainka. (Women's Voices in Ukrainian Literature, Vol. IV) Saskatoon, SK, Canada: Language Lanterns Publications, 1998. 371 - 374 .) « Our Life » has a new e - mail address ! Please send your submissions, questions, or suggestions in either English or Ukrainian to : unwlaourlife @ gmail . com Thank you ! « Our Life » Editors
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