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12 OUR LIFE • June 2022 MEDYKY, UKRAINE – A heavily pregnant wom - an stands a few feet from a checkpoint on the Ukrainian-Polish border. She watches help - lessly as her husband tries to negotiate his way through: “My wife is pregnant, she is due any day now, don’t you see I have to go with her, how is she going to give birth in another country, alone, don’t you see?” As his voice becomes more and more exasperated, the woman lowers herself heavily on a large suit - case and closes her eyes. The choice she has to make resonates with the choices of many Ukrainian mothers in the first two months of the Russian invasion: to flee alone, since mar - tial law prohibits men from leaving the coun - try, or to stay and risk their lives. For many Ukrainian fathers, though, this choice has been shaped differently. From the first day of the full-scale Russian mil - itary assault on Ukraine, more than 400,000 This year, Father’s Day in Ukraine has a taste of gunpowder, separation, and faith. men of draft age have returned from abroad to join the armed forces, territorial defense, or volunteer organizations. Before the war, men comprised 70% of seasonal workers abroad, con - tributing to a whopping $15 billion in financial support of the Ukrainian economy in 2021, according to Forbes Ukraine. The economic responsibility of Ukrainian fathers for the well-be - ing of their families has shifted: money has stopped being as pressing an issue as basic safety – “at least for a soldier,” Artem Chapeye writes in his “War Diaries,” published by PEN Ukraine. He is a writer and translator, and the father of two young sons, ages 7 and 9. Having evacuated his family, he joined the army, although he has identified as a pacifist his whole life. “My kids and wife are in relative safety. We may lose our home at least temporarily, but somehow it’s not critical.” Severely outnum - bered, the Ukrainian army has already beaten the odds of mil - itary analysts in the first two months of the war. Its strength is also attributed to the overwhelming support of the nation – both financial and moral. “Mornings can be difficult,” continues Artem Chapeye. “I used to wake up and be like ... ‘Jeez, it’s just a dream.’ I just had a dream of walking my kid to school. I woke up – and the war is still on. During the day the overwhelming feeling of unity makes everything easier.” Yet even realizing his contribution to the good fight, Chapeye can’t seem to shake his survivor’s guilt and overwhelming sadness at not seeing his children. The pa - ternal bond, in his opinion, grows from caring for a newborn; it’s not a natural instinct that activates immediately after birth. Unlike many Ukrainian fathers, Chapeye has been a vocal sup - porter of paternity leave and has spoken on many occasions about parenting and the initial misunderstanding of his de - cision to split parenting duties evenly with his wife. “I think the fact that I became sort of a public dad on paternity leave speaks more about our society than about my decision.” Traditionally, home-making and childrearing were reserved primarily for Ukrainian women. In the 17th century, as serfs escaped to the Zaporizhia and later formed a free-spirited army of Cossacks, their wives, mothers, and sisters stayed home and managed households independently, shaping the image of a can-do-it-all Ukrainian Amazon for generations. By 2022 this image translated into women making up 15% of the Ukrainian armed forces, serving as officers and privates, both in active combat and in the rear, and with many also taking FATHERS AT WAR Alina Zhurbenko , UNWLA Communications Coordinator Writer/translator/reporter – and father – Artem Chapeye, who joined the Ukrainian armed forces to defend his country and is chronicling his experiences in his “War Diaries.” Photo: Rafal Komorowski
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