Skip to content
Call Us Today! 212-533-4646 | MON-FRI 12PM - 4PM (EST)
DONATE
SUBSCRIBE
Search for:
About Us
UNWLA 100
Publications
FAQ
Annual Report 2023
Annual Report 2022
Annual Report 2021
Initiatives
Advocate
Educate
Cultivate
Care
News
Newsletters
Sign Up For Our Newsletter
Join UNWLA
Become a Member
Volunteer With Us
Donate to UNWLA
Members Portal
Calendar
Shop to Support Ukraine
Search for:
Print
Print Page
Download
Download Page
Download Right Page
Open
1
2-3
4-5
6-7
8-9
10-11
12-13
14-15
16-17
18-19
20-21
22-23
24-25
26-27
28-29
30-31
32-33
34-35
36-37
38-39
40
THE MIDWIFE by ANIA SAVAGE "I delivered another monster this morning," Hanna says when her husband raises his head from the pillow. The first rays of dawn are glancing off the window like tongues of fire. Ostap makes a guttural noise, sits up, and rubs his eyes. Although groggy with sleep, he wants Hanna to keep talking, to help her pry loose the horror. "I knew immediately there was something wrong," Hanna's voice falters. "What was it this time?" Ostap asks, although he does not want to know because what Hanna says will give him nightmares. "The nose and the mouth were one hole — " "Stop," Ostap cries, but there is no stopping Hanna now. "1 turned her over -- it was a girl — and placed her on her belly, shielding her face. The rest of her was perfect, each finger and toe exquisitely formed. She even had tiny nails, like moonbeams." Hanna sits down on the edge of the bed and sobs. Ostap moves closer and strokes his wife's gray hair. It had tumbled to her shoulders when she removed the black kerchief from her head. "It isn't your fault the baby's —" He pauses, at a loss for the word he wants to use, a word different than monster ... Malformed? Misshapen? Disfigured? Marred? "... Not perfect," he says out loud. "The mother went crazy," Hanna says, her face so ravaged that Ostap winces. "One moment she was a mother and the next, the mother of a monster." She weeps. He strokes her hair. After a while she stands up and goes to the cumbersome oak wardrobe. She tugs the door open and leaves it ajar as she undresses. Her rounded form, the heavy breasts and muscular biceps are silhouetted against the black void of the wardrobe. Ostap thinks of a coffin awaiting a corpse, the lid pushed to one side. When she returns to the bed and climbs under the covers, Hanna whispers: "Thank God, it died within minutes. Otherwise I would have had to make it die." "Don't. Don't say such things," Ostap cries. That night, and also the next night and the next, Ostap dreams of mutant animals — blind piglets, a calf with eight legs, foals without tails, cats and dogs with all kinds of monstrosities. But he does not tell Hanna about his dreams. "I want you to deliver it," Sonia says. "You are the best. Better than anyone in the city." Sonia and her mother are walking in the forest that is heavy with the scent of pine needles and rotting leaves. It is hot, the middle of summer. Birds twitter in the trees. There are so many mushrooms that it is hard not to step on them. Everything seems normal, but Hanna knows better. Some of the birds are blind and crash into trees. And no one dares pick the mushrooms, which are twice the size of those in prior years. "When is the baby due?" she asks softly. "Not until Christmas, I think." Sonia pauses as blood rushes to her cheeks. "Serge comes home every fortnight, so I can tell when ..." She can't finish. These are private matters between husband and wife. "Has Serge been checked?" Hanna asks, keeping her voice neutral. "Yes, of course. They check everyone. He says they told him his exposure is no greater than if he flew from Moscow to Leningrad." Hanna nods, although she is covered with cold sweat. Her hands, which she has hidden in the pockets of her voluminous skirt, are clenched into fists of anger. How can the authorities not warn the men on the clean-up crews about the danger of procreating children? After Sonia leaves for the city, Hanna says to Ostap: "She is with child." A grandson, his heart soars with joy, but then he sees Hanna's face and the blood in his veins ices. "You don't —?" but he cannot utter the unthinkable. "Serge is one of the liquidators," Hanna says. "But they wear protective clothing and are rotated," Ostap says, but he knows he is lying to himself, like the authorities are lying to all of them. "Did you suggest an -?" But again he cannot extricate the word stuck in his mouth. Hanna shakes her head. "Too late." "Why didn't she tell you earlier? Consult?" "She thinks she became pregnant six weeks ago. But I know. I felt her belly. She is in her fourth month." "Did you tell her?" Hanna shakes her head. "She bled in the beginning." "I don't understand," Ostap begins, but Hanna turns on him, her face contorted with fury. "Stupid man," she screams. "Stupid Serge," she cries and collapses on the chair in tears. Ostap stares at her, not knowing how he has been at fault. He sighs and rubs his fleshy ears with his fingers, as if it were bitter cold and he is fending off frostbite. Sonia is a sturdy woman, both in body and spirit. At first, she ignores the dizzy spells and the havoc in her belly. Serge brings home bonus pay, so she does not have
Page load link
Go to Top
1 
2-3 
4-5 
6-7 
8-9 
10-11 
12-13 
14-15 
16-17 
18-19 
20-21 
22-23 
24-25 
26-27 
28-29 
30-31 
32-33 
34-35 
36-37 
38-39 
40 
