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my present husband — whose attitude to all that is Ukrainian was very positive and understanding. He is an Irishman and in our respective national histories there exist certain historical similarities. Q.: Did you discuss the style of life of your future family before your marriage? A.: Oh, yes! And during our wedding reception Bob spoke in Ukrainian and promised my parents that our children will honor the Ukrainian language and will know what it means to be a Ukrainian. Q.: A very interesting approach. But what is the status of these issues today, after seven years of marriage? A .: We have two children — a six year old daughter and a three year old son — and the Ukrainian language is in no way neglected in our household. Q.; Then, please, tell us how you are realizing your plans for a Ukrainian culture oriented family? A .: From the very beginning I spoke to my children o n ly in Ukrainian, while their father spoke to them only in English. When Ania (our daughter) was a year and a half she was already able to distinguish in which lan guage to speak to me and in which language to her father. She was able soon to distinguish which story book was written in Ukrainian and which was written in English. And now I have no problem with my son in this respect, either. Q .: Does your husband understand the Ukrainian lan guage adequately to be able to communicate and not feel restrained in the company of your family and your Ukrainian friends? A.: Yes, he understands Ukrainian quite well — in fact, we do not have to switch to English at all. My daughter and I have established a custom — she teaches her father one new Ukrainian word every day. We sing “mnohaja lita” at appropriate family celebrations but also sing other Ukrainian songs together. On family trips, Ania chooses a song from a Ukrainian song book and we all learn it and sing it together. My husband, Bob, values the fact that the children have an opportun ity to learn a second language and are exposed to a dif ferent culture — he is even quite proud that the children are a part of that culture. Q.: Now, about yourself. Do you have moments in which you experience doubts about the wisdom of your choice to marry a non-Ukrainian? A .: No, but I regret being ostracized by the Ukrainian community and being expelled from the organization (Plast) that was very dear to me — because of my mar riage. The irony of this situation becomes very painful to me when I see young Ukrainian married couples that do not use the Ukrainian language and are not that truly interested in Ukrainian affairs. My husband and his fam ily, on the other hand, promote the correct interpreta tion of Ukrainian history as well as provide information about current problems of Ukraine through their con tacts with senators and other politicians. Q.: This concerns your professional work outside your home — how do you deal with this problem? A.: I am a pharmacist. I work only two days a week to have more time for my children. I also have help —we have a nanny for our children from Ukraine. Besides doing the usual housework she is helping me with the children to a great extent by speaking to them in Ukrain ian, singing with them, reading Ukrainian books to them, playing with them, teaching them Ukrainian poems... And not only this — she is also filling the vacuum I feel without Ukrainian friends (since we live quite far from any Ukrainian community), and in communicating with her I am also improving my own knowledge of the Ukrainian language. Q.: We see, Olu, that you have achieved virtual success in coping with a domestic life of dual culture. Could you provide some advice or pointers to young women living in similar situations, or to those who are about to marry non-Ukrainians? A .: I must admit that to marry and to live with, and to care for the family, with a partner of a different national ity and to try to retain the cultural environment in which one was brought up, is not an easy task. It is quite pos sible, however, when one is aware of its complexity before taking that fateful step. The woman, wife and mother, must have adequate determination, patience and perseverance to keep to the initially charted style of family life. I would like to add that it is much easier to overcome the complexities of a dual-culture family life if one can live in an area where there are other married couples in similar situations. Then certain aspects of the existing problems could be discussed, experiences shared, plans could be made for appropriate cultural entertainment for the children, and literature — for children, teens and adults — could be exchanged. The literature we have found extremely helpful since we are members and supporters of the action “Serce і knyzka” of the ’’Ukrainian Workers for Children and Youth (URLD)” and regularly receive their current interesting children’s publications. Another very helpful aspect to consider would be a visit to free Ukraine with the spouse and the children (of an age that would make such a journey meaningful to them) to acquaint them with the country — its people and its culture. A.: Thank you, Olu, for sharing your time with us, your thoughts, and your sincerity. We wish you further suc cess in all phases of your life. D e a r R e ad ers o f “N ashe Z y t t ia ”! We w o u ld lik e to ask y o u to c o n tin u e a d ia lo g u e on this e x tre m e ly im p o rta n t a n d p res sin g topic o f o u r life in d ia s p o ra th ro u g h the m e a n s o f questions, o b s erv atio n s a n d ad vic e from p e rs o n a l e x pe rien ce s. L u b o m y ra НАШЕ ЖИТТЯ”, ЧЕРВЕНЬ 1994 23
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