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(by addressing the man first and also recognizing the wife’s individuality), on the envelopes at least the wife’s initial should be included: “Mr. and Mrs. В. & O. Het- mansky." Today even Anglo-Saxon “ liberated women” and other Americans are dropping the use of “Mrs. John Smith” (as they are also dropping the custom of “giving away” the bride) — therefore Ukrainian ladies should not be forced to make a step back by being addressed in that possessive manner. BASIC EVENTS AND RITUALS A. BEFORE THE WEDDING 1. The Parents Get Acquainted Usually right after the bethrothal the parents of the future bride and groom visit each other and exchange gifts. Traditionally they would bring a ceremonial bread, signifying trust between the two clans (similar to “break ing bread”). Today, a variation of bread — a cake or torte, is often substituted. 2. Shower or Divych Vechir? Showers, associated with bringing gifts to the bride-to- be, are not in the Ukrainian tradition. A Divych vechir, as the term implies, is a farewell-to-girlhood party orga nized by the bridesmaids. It is also a public acknow ledgement of the young lady’s willingness to marry the man; this is done with an exchange of gifts. The man brings a gift for his bethrothed, and the young lady gives him an embroidered shirt (often worn by the man on his wedding day). The guests bring no gifts, perhaps only humorous ones, as well as items necessary for preparing several ritual objects. a. The party is also a time to prepare head wreaths, vinochky, for the wedding ceremony, and a hiltse for the wedding reception. The old word for getting married is vinchatysia, or literally, to get a head-wreath. These wreaths represent natural crowns (in many areas of Ukraine the bride and groom are called kniahynia and kniaz’, or princess and prince). The wreaths are made by bridesmaids from periwinkle ( barvinok ), which sym bolizes love, purity, and fertility. Wreaths are usually worn in church (during the marriage ceremony) either in their natural green color, or may be painted gold. b. Hiltse is a decorated ritual bread with a colorful tree of life. It symbolizes the building of a new nest, of fertil ity, and of life. A branch from a fruit tree or a pinetree is placed into a special bread (like a decorated paska). It is then decorated with periwinkle, stems of wheat, colorful flowers, candies, coins, and ribbon; these objects repre sent wishes of good luck and fortune in the building of a new nest, i.e. starting a new family untit. B. THE DAY OF THE WEDDING 1. In the Ukrainian custom there are no restrictions against the bride and groom seeing each other prior to the marriage ceremony. Traditionally they go together to Mass in the morning (this allows for a very meaning ful and intimate service). Then the Holy Liturgy need not be served together with the wedding ceremony — making it easier on the nerves (and feet!) of the whole wedding party. 2. The groom is blessed by his parents at their home. Then their party goes to the bride’s home, where the couple is blessed together by their parents. Usually the groom’s parents provide an icon of the Savior, and the bride’s parents one of the Virgin Mary; both icons are held with an embroidered cloth — rushnyk around them. After the blessing the groom leaves with the brides maids, and the bride with the ushers. The bride and groom meet at the entrance to the church, and enter together (often with their hands tied by the rushnyk, symbolizing bethrothal). A rushnyk may also be placed for the bride and groom to kneel on during the ceremony. 3. After the marriage ceremony, the parents and all the guests proceed to the reception hall. There they await the married couple. The parents, godparents, and sta- rosty (a lady and gentleman who are the MC’s) await the bride and groom, bridesmaids, and ushers at the door. The parents greet them in the traditional Ukrainian fashion, with the icons (used earlier during the bless ing), bread and salt, honey and wine — symbolizing all the elements needed for a prosperous and happy life together. Then the whole wedding party proceeds to the main table — with the head usher carrying the hiltse. The icons and hiltse are placed at the head table. The traditional wedding bread, korovay, should already be there. There are several types of korovay that may be used: a. the main, wedding korovay (to be cut and dis tributed) that has little birds and flowers; b. one with a crown of flowers (representing the bride and her girl friends); c. a nest with two birds. The korovay has a very old tradition. In pre-Christian days the bride and groom, with their hands joined and tied with a rushnyk, had to walk three times around a table with the korovay, in order to be considered married. Then the bread would be cut into little pieces and distributed to all present, so that the community would accept the newly created social unit. The partaking of korovay signifies accep tance of the newly forming family. Korovay used to be baked as an expression or gesture of community support (made by seven lady friends), while now only those with the particular artistic talent make it. At the reception, pieces of the korovay are first offered to the bride and groom, and then to the rest of the wedding party, family and relatives, and to all the guests. Pieces may be taken to all the tables and placed there. Quite often on each table there are decorations similar to those on the korovay — birds made of dough, representing the bride and groom. Taken home, these birds are pleasant reminders of a wonderful Ukrainian wedding. After the korovay is handed out, the guests who did not bring any gifts may leave checks (placed in envelopes) on a side table (but not to be given directly to the bride and groom). Gifts are also placed on a specially desig nated table. Видання C оюзу Українок A мерики - перевидано в електронному форматі в 2012 році . A рхів C У A - Ню Йорк , Н . Й . C Ш A.
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