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OUR LIFE Monthly, published by Ukrainian National Women’s League of America FEBRUARY 1982 EDITED BY A. H. Sawyckyj VOL. XXXIX Viewpoint By Natalia Kormeliuk In recent years the concept of the family as the basic element of society has been shaken to its very foundations. This change in thinking has also threatened the existence of the Ukrainian family. In the Ukrainian community this crisis is regarded so seriously that the World Congress of Free Ukrainians has declared the next ten years as “The Decade of the Ukrainian Family.” The Ukrainian family is threatened in Ukraine by the Russo-Communist regime which wishes to destroy Ukrainian identity by destroying the Ukrainian family. In the West, the dangers are of a different nature. Some of these dangers, as expressed in meetings, discussions and publications in the Ukrainian community include: mixed marriages, a lack of adequate social life among Ukrainian youth, lack of respect for the older generation, the atomization of Ukrainian organizations, prominence of purely personal career goals, materialism, a lack of a feeling of responsibility, the decline of religious activism, a lack of tolerance and cooperation between Ukrainians of different views, a lack of teachers and youth counselors, lack of time, lack of attention, and lack of respect for authority. Each of these “lacks” merits its own panel discussion! It is good that discussion of these topics is taking place in the community, because discussion leads to a higher awareness of what our values as Ukrainians should be. The survival of the Ukrainian family depends upon the continuing support of its value structure by institutions such as the church, the schools, and our youth and community organizations. The community must preserve its identity by continually reaffirming Christian ethics, our native language and tradition, and our efforts on behalf of Ukraine, the land of our origin. But the world is going through a value crisis, and the Ukrainian community is no exception. The generation growing up in America is continually asking itself these questions and more: Am I Ukrainian or American? Do my feelings as a Ukrainian match my life goals? How should I allocate my free time? We know how these questions should be answered. But how are they answered in practice ? Sometimes observing small, seemingly insignificant daily actions, reactions and attitudes in our own behavior and that of our children shows us that what is true in theory does not hold in practice. Some examples of this later... Youth is torn in many different directions by our complex society. How can we as parents instill the “right values” in them? One way is the authoritarian approach UKRAINIAN VALUES AND THE FAMILY — that is, telling our children to do and to think as we do because we are older and wiser and have the experience of years behind us. The success of this approach depends upon the extent of our authority in the eyes of our children. Another problem with the authoritatian approach is the fact that parents' theoretical values may differ from their practical behavior, as mentioned above. For example, we may talk about democracy and freedom of expression, but refuse to print viewpoints in the press which differ from our own. Or we talk about how important it is to promote marriages between young Ukrainians but refuse to allow youth of different youth organizations to work together at the community level. These contradictions between theory and practice create skepticism in youth regarding their elders. A second approach is to let youth find its own values, hoping they are similar to ours. This “laissez faire” approach leaves youth with the feeling that “no one cares.” Much as they may rebel, youth needs values to rebel against, values they often return to at an older age. A third approch is to transfer our values to youth by embodying these values ourselves. This approach demands much of us as parents and counselors, and requires continuous contact with youth, mutual trust and many shared positive experiences. Theoretical values must be supported by our actions. There will continue to be many questions which we and our youth can discuss together: How to develop our Ukrainian spirit? Should we stay with traditional moral and ethical principles or try new ones? Here our responsibility as parents and counselors must come to the fore. We must consciously and purposefully create discussions with our youth on these and other topics in a Ukrainian environment. For this we have bought ourbuildingsand national homes. We must not be afraid to re-evaluate which are our true values, and which are paper values only, gradually recognizing these contradictions and change what needs to be changed in ourselves. This re-evaluation can take place in our immediate families or within each community organization. What will this third approach — re-evaluation — give us and our youth? 1. It will give us a chance to periodically examine what we really value and believe in. 2. It will give us and youth a chance to see the possibilities of different actions and our limitations. 3. It will give us a feeling of freedom of choice, and Cont. on page 25
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