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OUR LIFE MONTHLY, published by Ukrainian National Women’s League of America Vol. XXXIV MAY No 5 Editor Marta Baczynsky MARTA BACZYNSKY The Working Mother — to be or not to be Pro’s and con’s on the subject of the working mother have been with us for a long time. As a matter of fact it has been kicked around so much by experts, semi-ex perts and a whole lot of opinionated people, that by now it is a dilemma for all of us. There are, however, three points which one would well bear in mind, according to this one woman’s opinion. The primary point and the one which for all in tents and purposes originated the ’’working mother” is our economic situation. An average family of say four, finds it increasingly difficult to make ends meet with on ly one person working. (There are of course people who make a lot of money, and they do not enter into this dis cussion). Parents who wish to send their children to college are stunned by the staggering costs of today’s education — an average of $4,500.00 — tuition and boarding per student per year.lt hardly seems necessary to go on and on listing all the other outlandish costs which beset us at every turn every day. Therefore, it is not unusual to find that more and more women, mothers of school age children, are joining the labor market to help support their families. The second point in this issue is self realization — or self fulfilment — a right and privilege of every wo man. It is sad to realize, how until recently, society had fitted neat little roles for women to play; A woman was a daughter, until she married, then she became a wife and eventually a mother....AMEN. Today women are reach ing out into all fields of social structure, holding key posts in government, industry and arts. And the mar velous thing is that many of them are achieving their success with the help of their families, husbands, parents and children. Self-realization is the key to inner happiness, to peace of mind to pride in oneself; Many women find this in the home, in raising a family. Many do not- they must seek it in various professional en deavors outside the home. One can almost see the impatience of the ’’hawks” (critics of working mothers) to start a parade of how much sacrifice a family must make for a mother who say, wants to be a lawyer. But "hawks” one has to say, what is life but a game of barter. What a marvelous education for children who learn early to contribute their part of this unit we call a family so that a mother can achieve her dream, while she helps them to achieve theirs. There is no better teacher than pressing ne cessity and no greater reward than the fruit of ones own labor. In the aftermath of World War II our parents la bored hard to build an existence in America. They vowed, as those before them, who have undergone a holocost, that their children will not have to work as hard as they did. We, their children had it pretty soft. Our children have it super soft. Instead of responsibili ties, we give them all sorts of lessons (we are all ex tremely cultural minded), and tell each other that there is no need to teach them the real facts of life- they will learn soon enough when they grow up. Unfortunatley, in many cases by then it is too late. A child in a family of working parents sees his share of family responsibility as a necessity to the smooth operation of his home rather than a set of chores to keep him out of trouble or give him something to do. The third point on this theme is education. It is hardly logical to guide a girl through 16 years of school, programming her for a maximum involvement in the field of her interest and then should she marry and have children, be totally shocked that she, after two or three years of stay at home motherhood, becomes discon tent, boared and unhappy. The education of a young girl years ago was geared toward motherhood. She therefore contentedly assumed her role when the time came. Today, diversi fied interests can tear a woman to pieces. In many in stances she wants a family and above all to do well by her husband and children, yet she also wants to see the years she spent in school bear fruit for her own self- realization and for the benefit of her family. For this, in many cases, the young woman is labeled as a ’’bad mother” or one who wants to "run around”, if she goes to work, by the same people who will insist that she give her daughter the same educational opportunities as she will give her son. And so the vicious circle will start all over again. One wonders if perhaps schools should offer a de gree in "motherhood”. Perhaps that will guarantee a contented woman who can become a good mother. Or is it the other way around. The above discussion is but one more opinion in this controversy of the working mother. There really is no solution. In this no rules can be made and no judge ments can be passed. If one wants to score points for one side or another one must study case by case, family by family. НАШЕ ЖИТТЯ, ТРАВЕНЬ 1977 25
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